literature

The Price of Knowing

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“Father?” Raif inquired quietly, leaning forward to try and capture his father’s attention. Yami had been staring out the window blankly for the last three or four minutes, his left hand poised with a pen over a piece of parchment as if he were ready to write something but nothing seemed to be coming to him. Yami turned to him, blinking widely, obviously surprised at the others presence. “Father… I’ve been wondering this for years… and I just simply can’t keep it to myself anymore…” Raif paused for a moment, gauging his father’s expression. The way his mouth tightened ever so slightly and how his eyes seemed to grow very sad all of a sudden seemed peculiar. Raif almost didn’t ask, but he had already committed himself, “Did you ever want me? Was I a mistake?”

Yami blew out a low breath that he hadn’t quite realized he had been holding. Yes, he knew this day would come… Raif would ask this painful question and Yami would have to as diplomatically as he could answer it and hope no ones feelings got hurt, especially his sons. He loved Raif… it was just…

“To be honest, no.” It came out harsher than he had initially thought it would and Raif flinched. Yami searched desperately for words, “I-I didn’t mean it like that, Raif… You have to understand… You weren’t… expected… I mean, how many brothers plan on having a child together? It’s not even reproductively possible…” Yami seemed to be on the beginning of a wild tangent and Raif waved his hand frantically in the air to bring his father back. Yami blinked at him widely, lips still pressed together forming the word ‘to’.

After a moment, Yami sighed, smiling. “Raif, you were a wonderful result to a hard decision. I am glad to have you, as is Ankei and Kaelin.” Yami shifted slightly, not really wanting to think back to the day Raif had been ‘born’. Yami and his brother Ankei had both forfeited (against their will) a real physical part of themselves, a rib to be exact. Two ribs to make one child… It was either that, or receive the wish that Yami had so desperately wanted all those years ago—to have his brother fall in love with him, eternally.  Unfortunately for the twisted Sorceress, Yami had managed a powerful banishing spell after Raif’s completion. He never saw the woman again.

“Besides,” Yami said, spinning his chair around so he faced his son. “A majority of you kids were huge unexpected surprises. Good surprises, but surprises nonetheless.”

“I know…” Raif smiled gently and moved to sit on the edge of the desk, still staring intently down at his father who shifted back in his seat so he could look up at his son more easily. “But, Father… You have always told all of us the circumstances in which we were adopted or brought into the world… Except for Flouresce. Why is that?”

The pleasant expression that had lifted Yami’s face before disappeared. He suddenly looked very stoic, maybe even a little angry. The demon turned away, refusing to meet his sons gaze and began to scratch sharply at the parchment he had just earlier been unable to put his thoughts onto.

“Father?” Raif asked, brows knitted together as he frowned deeply at the little man. “Why won’t you tell us? Why won’t you tell her? It tortures her to not know.”

Yami paused for a moment with his writing, his eyes shifting slightly towards his son but he continued to scribble furiously again. Raif was sure his father wasn’t even writing anything that had to do with the report.

“Father, please, look at me.”

Yami slammed the quill down and jerked about to stare at his son. His voice was hot, teeming with rage as he spoke, “Your sister asked me once where she came from when she was fifteen. I did not tell her then and she has not asked me since. What makes you believe that you have any more right knowing than her?”

It wasn’t often that Yami used such a tone—especially with his children. It was as if he was hiding something… It was painfully obvious as if he had a sign posted right on his forehead screaming, Warning, this conversation leads to dangerous waters. Raif pressed anyhow.

“You’ve told Edward, Aeres and Vincent the circumstances of how they came to be.” Raif stated bravely. It was no secret—Edward, Aeres and Vincent had been conceived by a woman through Yami—neither had been willing. Raif found it odd how his father would admit to this, but not to where Flouresce had come about.

Yami struggled for a moment for something to say before he leaned back in the wooden chair he was sitting in and sighed, “And I also told you about my days as a slave, what the hell else do you want from me, Raif?” The demon reached up to rub his eyes tiredly. Why was Raif being so persistent? It must be one of his own traits, Yami thought, that Raif had inherited. An insatiable need to know everything and leave no rock, boulder or mountain unturned.

“…Just… the name, Father. What city was she from?” Raif asked quietly. His blue eyes were sad because, in reality, he felt rather awful to try and break his father down for this information. Though it was true, Raif was tired of seeing Flouresce’s sad longing stares when she thought no one was looking. She deeply desired to know where she came from and Raif refused to allow his parents to keep this information from her any longer.

Yami sat quietly for a long time, taking in slow deep breaths and letting them out. His eyes were downcast, his hands folded neatly in his lap. He moved to speak twice, but stopped. It was the third time that he finally spoke and his voice was melancholic, defeated. “Ryesen. She is from Ryesen.”

It took Raif a moment for it to click. He had heard that name… Somewhere in a book, maybe in passing conversation… Then it hit him like a ton of bricks.

Raif jerked back, gasping, eyes wide. “Ryesen? You mean… That village… The Ryesen Massacre?” It would have been around the same time… did that mean…? “Father…” Raif leaned forward and Yami looked away to hide his face that suddenly seemed to be twisted with agony and misery. “The demon… The demon they claimed…” He couldn’t say it… He couldn’t believe that his father had been the one…

“Yes.” Yami finally said quietly, still refusing to look towards his son. “I killed them all.” He found his son gaze, crimson and blue, colors that had fought wars over the fear of having tragedies like the ones Yami had caused. He was one of those demons that fed rumors by committing real acts— acts of unspeakable calamity and horror.  “I killed every man, woman and child,” the demon continued evenly, but his voice was shaking ever so slightly. “One by one.”

“Father…”

“Including her parents.” Yami looked away suddenly, his hands wringing together. He was shaking. “…I wasn’t myself that day… But that’s still no excuse.” He lowered his head and his shoulders slumped, “Had Kaelin not been there that day, I would have killed her too… Maybe continued on down the road to the next town… I don’t know… I really don’t know.”

Raif didn’t know what to say and so he stood, staring down at his father for a long moment until he turned and walked away.

He would never be able to look at his Father the same way again.

And Raif did not ever tell his sister.
(third time trying to submit this)

My characters! <3

Raif eventually learns to understand that Yami went through a momentary lost of insanity after losing his mother and triggering a chemical imbalance unique to demons born from half demon/elf parents... Kaelin gives Yami a simple remedy that keeps him from ever having those imbalances again...

The rumors come from demons who have experienced similar chemical imbalances, as well as the first war in which small numbers of demons were able to destroy large platoons of elves due to "demons" (red-eyed elves) who are able to use magic having an advantage over the other elves that cannot use magic. (Thus the blue and red reference).

I still haven't decided if Flouresce ever finds out first hand what happened.

I thought this scene up daydreaming while I was cooking myself some dinner. =P
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